Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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