So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
