Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
