There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
