She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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