I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
