Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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