4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
