i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
