using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.