She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
