Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
