the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP