I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
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ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
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We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again