Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars