Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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