Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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