i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
