Me too!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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