ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
