i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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