Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
