So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
