You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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