Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If that was your dad, he is hot
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
