one might say we're banned from that church
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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