Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
