He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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