Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dear god my vagina.
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