help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i think my mom watched the whole time
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
