i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
