Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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