it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
