I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
