Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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