How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
