yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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