My first STD was from a foam party
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
