this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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