I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
