he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
