No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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