I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize