If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I could fuck to npr.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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