Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
