$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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