Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize