I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
