guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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