Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Randomize
