so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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