I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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