whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize