It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
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It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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