Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize