dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
