my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
