I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
