i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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