Dignity is for republicans.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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