guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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