If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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