Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
