I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
