Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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