are you still at the devil's house?
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
