Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
