We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
