I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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