Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
