big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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