I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
