it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
