i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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